Fix #1: Give Him Space
I think that one of the biggest mistakes that women make is that they typically don’t give their guys enough space. This is especially true when there’s an ongoing problem in the relationship. To us, the man cave is the perfect answer. It welcomes us with open arms, despite the horrid old pizza boxes mixed with dirty socks smell.
Every guy needs some time alone. This is why we need our man cave time. But usually, we have no clue as to why. Don’t ask us why. We probably don’t really know why anyway. We just know that we want to be alone.
If you ask us why, that will mean that we will risk having to talk about our feelings, and we certainly don’t want to talk about our feelings – ever. That’s not who we are. We don’t do that.
The Man Cave’s True Purpose
When we get our feelings hurt or if we did something really, really stupid, we need our man cave time. It’s like our best friend because it understands and it doesn’t do anything to try to make us feel better, or worse. It just lets us be… Let him be…
So, let it go and let us go to the man cave once in a while. And don’t worry. We’ll be back – especially if it’s football season.
Fix #2: Get Happy Regardless
This may come as a surprise to you, but we like to be around happy girls and happy people. We don’t like being around angry, frustrated, or even worried girls or people. Those people suck. So, why is it that when there is a problem in the relationship, women will typically become that sucky version of humans AND THEN want to talk? Why is it that suddenly it’s the most important thing in the world and if we don’t talk about it in the middle of the Laker’s game or the Super Bowl, then the relationships is over? Can’t it wait? And commercial time doesn’t count either – especially if the Super Bowl is on.
If there is a problem in our relationship and it needs to be fixed, think seriously about getting happy first before you bring it up to us. When you get happy first, it reminds us of how it was in the beginning.
Why Getting Happy Works
So, get happy regardless. Get happy and then sleep with us. Get happy and then tell us what we did wrong. Don’t wait to tell us what we did wrong when you’re all pissed off. What sense is there in doing that?
Also, if you think that we did something wrong, we won’t even argue with you, so what’s the point? We know you’re always right because you’re simply smarter and more responsible than us.
Maybe it would be better if you looked at us like the dogs we are – trainable, usually loyal, and simple.
Have pity on us because we simply are not as smart as you. You are out of our league in the emotional intelligence arena – we all know that. So, you don’t get angry at a dog for being a dog, right? Then why get angry at a guy for being a guy? We can’t help but being a little lazy, stupid, ignorant and irresponsible. It’s part of the package. You should have read the Amazon reviews on your guy before you bought him… And if you return him, the next one isn’t going to be much better anyway…
Fix #3: Stop Nagging
I repeated this one in one of my prior articles but it’s important and worth repeating. Please stop nagging us. Nagging is reminding a person of something that they forgot to do over and over and over and over again until we do it.
We already feel like a slave to work and to an unjust system, so when we come home and the first thing out of our girlfriend’s or wife’s mouths is, “Did you take out the trash yet?” we about want to blow our brains out.
The Difference Between Nagging and Reminding
There is a difference between nagging us and then reminding us because we forgot. If you remind us to take out the trash cans the night before, that’s an acceptable and valued reminder – not a nag. We appreciate reminders because we forget a lot easier than you.
Just know the difference between a nag and a reminder and the Universe will be a lot better off.
Fix #4: Get a Life
I say this with the utmost level of respect. Get a life.
Get a life. In other words, don’t be submissive to us because when you don’t have a life – that means that you will be all up in our business. When you’re all up in our business about our business, it can drive us a little bit nuts.
Also, you’re not doing yourself any favor by throwing your whole life away to be with you guy. Don’t think that way. Be 100% whole and then be a part of his life. It will work out a lot better for both of us during the relationship, and in the event that we break up.
Why Being a Man Too Helps
Getting a life simply means educating yourself, getting a job or a career, and, being a man. No, seriously. Be a man in the relationship. Don’t be dependent upon us because that can drive us nuts.
I don’t mean be a man like put a strap-on on kind of “being a man.” I just mean put yourself first too and have a career and a life. That’s a lot more attractive to a guy anyway.
Fix #5: Be Unconditional
Who you really are is an unconditionally loving being. That’s it. When you’re not being unconditionally loving, then you’re not happy, and neither are we.
It doesn’t mean that you have to let us sleep around with other women by any means. If that happens, kick his sorry ass out of the house.
But what I mean is that if you want to fix problems in the relationship, and you want to make sure that you’re not the main cause of the problem, then be unconditionally loving to us.
You’ll get a lot better of a response out of someone if you have a smile on your face when you are saying something. You can about say anything you want when you have a smile on your face.
Love us anyway, just as a golden retriever would, but set your boundaries first and make them clear to us. We may have to be hit with a 2 by 4 across the head a few times for us to understand. But we will.
Fix #6: Get Sexy
One of the first problems that I see women make when they get into a relationship is that they let themselves go the instant that they think it’s safe. It’s as if during dating, they starve themselves and cannot wait to get that ring on their finger so that they can start eating again.
Don’t Take This for Granted
It seems that you think that just because we are married or we are a couple, that you then have won the lottery meal ticket to eat whatever the hell you want to eat. Then you get fat.
That’s taking us for granted. That’s just simply wrong. Please don’t do that.
Take care of yourself. Enjoy looking good. Work out. Eat well and stay away from things that make you fat. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you.
Fix #7: The Best Fix of All
And now, we get down to the best way to fix your relationship – guess what it is?
A blowjob. Yes, it is the be all, end all way to turn any guy into silly putty and a teddy bear – a super soft, warm cuddly, teddy bear. He will forget all of your transgressions. He will forget about the money you spent on your expensive, silly new shoes and purse. He will forget that time when you called his mother a bad name and gave her the middle finger. He will forget EVERYTHING, because, well, he’s a guy.
We understand that you have a much better memory than us so we are already at a disadvantage. But getting a blow job is like wiping our hard drive clean (pun intended). We won’t remember anything before that moment.
~
I hope you enjoyed my 7 tips to fixing your relationship.
Until next time,
Jack