Most women have this “performance fear” when they are new to blowjobs. Some are even terrified from just the thought of giving them. This fear is eating you alive and making your blowjobs worse by the minute. It’s like a vicious circle. Some women are so afraid of giving head that they simply don’t give head at all. That’s their answer to their fear. You’ll never solve it if you keep escaping it.
So, what can you do about your fear of blowjobs?
Look your fear in the eyes and conquer it! I know you can do it.
Here are 2 types of blowjob fears I’ve seen and how you can overcome them.
1. You’re afraid because you think you’ll perform poorly.
Be careful what you think. It might come true. Stop measuring yourself all the time and comparing yourself to other women he was with before you. He’s with you now, and you need to keep it that way. If he got used to receiving blow jobs on a regular/daily basis, he expects you to give him head too.
And any blow job is better than no blow job at all. Every sane guy will appreciate your effort to improve and practice ( Do You Need to Improve Your Blowjob Skills? ) – so use his penis as a guinea pig, practice until you get better. I know that much depends on the guy – does he make you feel safe, does he make you feel comfortable, loved and appreciated?
All these things matter. Control the aspects that you can (fix the atmosphere, dim the lights, light some candles, put on some relaxing music) in order to get yourself in a relaxed, calm mood. It’s not the end of the world if you mess up. Relax and take it easy.
Accept that you are new to giving head and know that over time and practice, you’ll become great at it. The sooner you start practicing, the sooner you’ll get better at this essential “life skill.” It IS a life skill. Give great head and you’ll get ahead ;)
2. You’re afraid to hurt him or look dumb.
Get out of your head. Stop thinking and start feeling. Tap into your senses and turn off the conscious thinking part of your brain. As long as you don’t chop his penis off with your teeth, you’re safe. You’ll look dumb and weird if you FEEL like that.
Fake it till you make it. Behave as if you were good at it. Be confident in what you do and believe in every move you make with your tongue and lips. It’s the same thing when it comes to talking dirty. If you believe it, it will sound great. If you think you’ll sound dumb, you probably will. Believe in yourself!
When you know more about what your boyfriend wants in a blow job you’ll know what to do in order to get him to orgasm. Every time. So, equip yourself with some great blow job techniques and start practicing the right stuff.
You can give blow jobs every day and over time you’ll probably get better, but if you’re doing the wrong things over and over again, without being receptive of what your boyfriend likes, then you’ll never master the art of blowjobs, you’ll always remain “just okay.” You should aspire to learn to give mind blowing blow jobs – not just average one’s. Whatever you are doing, it’s worth doing it right.
No matter what you decide to do, one thing is for sure. You MUST believe in yourself. Love yourself. Have a positive attitude towards yourself and have a positive self-talk. Don’t look down upon yourself in any way. With some determination and belief, you can become great at anything! Even blowjobs! ;)
Till later,
Your blow job instructor,
Jack