The way to fix a relationship when your guy gets cold and distant is make him a big steak and dust the house in lingerie. That should definitely solve the problem!
Okay – I’m kidding, sort of. The truth of the matter is that if your guy has gone colder than an icicle hanging from Santa’s slay, there could be a number of reasons why he’s acting different that have nothing to do with you.
Us guys get upset about some things that women just can’t relate to – and sometimes it’s really pretty stupid stuff, such as a car part that had to be back ordered because it was out of stock. Yeah… Now that I think of it, that would mess up any guy pretty damn good – for days!
Remember, guys are dumb when it comes to relationships, so usually they won’t even know that they are being cold and distant. It’s not that we are insensitive – it’s more that we are just plain emotionally dumber than women.
Also, guys have big egos and so it could be that his ego was bruised or hurt and he doesn’t want to tell you what happened. It could be something as little as he air-balled a free throw shot while playing basketball with his buddies, and they all made fun of him. And if a number of things happened to bruise his ego, he might even go into his man cave and not want to come out for days. Maybe you hurt his ego with something, maybe you don’t make him feel manly enough and appreciated, maybe he doesn’t have enough space in your relationship or you don’t turn him on as much anymore. A lot of things can make a guy go cold. It could also just be a phase.
Regardless, here are some take-action things you can do in order to fix this bump in your love-journey’s road.
Talk to him (openly), but don’t confront or accuse him.
Even though he may not want to talk about what is going on, you should try to get him to open up. Tell him you feel like he’s being a bit cold or distant. Ask if you can do anything to fix that and tell him that you care about him or love him or whatever your relationship’s stage is at. Whatever is appropriate. Tell the truth. At least you may get an idea if it is something about your relationship with him, or if there is something totally different that is the problem.
The thing is… he probably has no idea how you feel and that you think or feel he got cold. It really may be something else. Now, if you feel he isn’t “attacking” you in terms of wanting to sleep with you all the time, that may be another issue… maybe you spend too much time together or you’re not acting feminine enough to unleash his inner beast.
Either way, the easiest thing to do is simply ask, but not in a confrontational way. If you see that your questions are starting with a “why” — as in “why are you so and so…?!” — stop. Questions with a “why” are counter-productive. A better thing to do is ask something that starts with “how” … like “how can I make you feel better about… [ whatever is troubling him ]?” He may open up and tell you honestly. And if he says something that hurts your feelings, don’t get angry. Otherwise he’ll never be honest with you again.
Another thing I recommend you do is talk to another guy. Explain him the whole issue and he might give you some insight. The thing is… your boyfriend (if he cares about you) doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. That’s why tens of thousands of women are blown away by my program, because I don’t have to lie to you or beat around the bush. So try talking to another guy about the details and see if he has some insight. It’ll be better than guesswork with your girlfriends.
Now, in case you still can’t get the truth out of him, I wouldn’t push it too much at first. He may simply not want to talk about his insecurities or whatever bothers him. But if he does open up and discusses it with you, do your best to support him and to not be judgmental. There is nothing quite worse than opening up to a woman only to be ripped apart for opening up to a woman.
Give him a massage (seriously).
If you know how to give a good massage, this is a great way to get his mind off of his problems and back into being more present with you. A massage is great for the muscles, great to relieve stress, and great to re-connect. Who knows, maybe he’s just under a lot of stress?
If you live together, your home should be the “Mecca of Pleasure” where he can’t wait to get home because that’s where he gets treated like a King. Worshipped, loved, and spoiled beyond his wildest dreams. Your home has to be an environment where he really wants to be (with you) because that’s a place he gets his ego boost with praise, compliments, and care. If he’s the right guy, he’ll do all he can to return your favors.
So, if he’s under a lot of stress… nothing beats a great massage. You can and should maybe even make it a bit sensual… (with a very happy ending) to release all of his tension.
You could surprise him with it. If you live together, and he works, you could get it all set up beforehand and light some candles, turn on some relaxing music, and set the mood for spending time together. You know, just Netflix and chill. It could give you the opportunity for him to open up at some point and tell you if anything is bothering him.
Surprise him with the stuff that actually counts for him.
Buy some naughty lingerie or outfit for role play, put some sexy high heels on, and/or get some new toys that you know that he would like. Wear the lingerie around when he least expects it and put on a naughty show for him. I mean, men are that simple. All they need is good food and then to reproduce (or just attempt reproduction). All that visual stuff (like good looks) and even physical pleasure is what can even out his thoughts so his mind thinks more clearly. There are other ways to keep him interested in you, too.
Maybe ask him some questions as to his fantasies and see if there is more to you to explore. Maybe he’ll feel more safe to open up about what is on his mind.
The truth is that you have a right to know why he is cold and distant. Especially if you’ve been together for a longer time. If he still remains cold and aloof after a lot of effort, there may be something serious going on and you should ask him directly why he is being cold and distant. In the beginning, try the indirect route. He shouldn’t feel cornered.
Keep in mind that guys will clam up once in a while. We will seem cold and distant for a time. But it is usually temporary, and not a permanent thing. During this period, work on reminding him why you are as amazing as you are and why he fell in love with you in the first place.
You see… guys have a one-track mind. When they are unusually cold and distant it could be that he is regretting something or considering something else… like maybe another woman. But it doesn’t have to be your case. Not at all. Just grab him by his cojones and tell him (jokingly) that you’ll rip ’em out if you catch him in a place it doesn’t belong. See how he reacts. Then take what’s yours. That’s the best way to prevent him from straying, by keeping him completely happy in every department.
Remember, chances are that he’s just temporarily being a numb nut. So, try not to worry too much about it and overanalyze or overthink it. Give him some space for a couple of days and see how he’ll be giving you his attention once you stop giving you his all the time. You know, give him some supreme fun and pleasure and then leave. Highs and lows. So he craves you. And remember to have fun with it… Don’t take life too seriously because you’ll never get out of it alive!