Okay. I get it. You’re married with children, and you’re running around picking up toys, cleaning the house, and doing a ton of non-sexy things. By the time you and hubby have any time alone, you’re exhausted.
You look at each other through “married with children non-rosy glasses,” and you wonder if you’re even attracted to each other any more.
Panic sets in and you start to freak out because you start to wonder what the hell happened to your sex life.
No need to panic. Jack is here. By the time you’re done reading what to do, we’ll have you back on track in no time…
Ready? Good. Here are 7 ways to spice up your sex life:
Spicy Way #1: Blow Him When He Least Expects It
Don’t let the letters BJ mean Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Let it mean blow job once again. One of the first things to go after having kids is the ultimate, quick satisfaction that a guy can get, and that’s a great blow job.
The funny thing is that in all honesty, if you two have not been doing it, it is probably more your fault than his. I don’t know many guys who would say, “Sorry honey. I don’t have time for a blow job right now. Let’s do it later.”
Nope.
I don’t mean to be mean, but it’s probably your fault. But that’s okay because acknowledgment of your behavioral mishaps is the first step to getting anywhere with it, right?
So, give him a blow job. Do it unexpectedly. As a matter of fact, play it up.
Here’s an example of what you could do – pretend that you are super stressed out or busy. Tell him in the middle of some of your own chaos that you have to see him in the bedroom right away to discuss something really important. Play up the stress and make him think that you’ve got something really important to talk about.
Then, when you get him in the room, shut the door, pull down his pants, and start sucking like a Hoover vacuum.
I about guarantee you that he won’t complain or object. If he does, he’s not human.
Spicy Way #2: Lap Dance
Another thing that you could do is to give him a lap dance when he least expects it. You see, if you keep doing things when he least expects it, he’s going to start to eagerly anticipate being around you. If you’re a great actress, and I know that you are, he’ll never know when you are about to do something naughty to him or for him.
That will keep him in a state of suspense for the rest of your life if you can keep it up. It’s really not hard to do.
So, again, when he least expects it, pull out your high heels, your mini-skirt, your see through blouse and g-string panties and put on a show for him. He’ll love you for it. Guaranteed.
Spicy Way #3: Dress Sexy
One of the mistakes that women make all the time is thinking that their husbands are equally attracted to them no matter what they wear. We’re freaking men, remember?
We are not going to get all that aroused seeing you in grandma underwear and pajamas. We want to have it all, which means having a sexy wife who enjoys emitting her sexuality in every way, most of the time and at the same time, being a great mother and companion, etc.
Sure, if you’re sick and in bed, we will let you slide of course. He will love you regardless of what you wear. But we’re talking about how to spice up your boring marriage, remember?
So dress sexy when you can. It’s so utterly easy.
Just do it.
Spicy Way #4: Blow Him. Again.
I already mentioned this as a spicy way, but it’s worth repeating. Blow him. Again.
Yes. Do it. This is one of the best ways to spice up your marriage and turn it from boring to bordering on mind blowingly erotic.
Again, do it when he least expects it. If you’re driving away from your mom’s house after having dropped off the kids, lean over, unzip his pants, and blow him.
If you’re doing laundry in the morning and he walks in on you, tell him that there’s a problem with the dryer, bend over, open it up, but then get on your knees and pull him to you.
This kind of spontaneous, playful action will make him love being around you more than you know. Trust me on this.
Spicy Way #5: Leave the Scent of a Woman
Guys love the smell of their woman. You may be thinking that I’m talking about your perfume, and that works too.
But what I am really talking about is the scent of your, how do I say this politically correctly? Ah to hell with it – the scent of your pussy juice.
Spread it on your lips and kiss him before he goes to work. Secretly smear it behind his tie so he goes crazy wondering why he’s smelling you all day long at work.
Discreetly smear it on the inside collar of his favorite shirt so that he won’t be able to take his mind off of you. You could look at it is if you are marking your own territory, and I can’t help but think that other women, whose smell is much better than your husbands, will pick up on the scent too and stay away.
There you go – a double wammy of advice, with no extra charge.
You’re welcome.
Spicy Way #6: Write an Erotic Story
The advantage to writing an erotic story for you and your husband is that you have the opportunity to REALLY turn him on by adding all of those male fantasies that you can imagine into it. When he reads your story, the fact that you talk about his fantasies in it will really turn him on.
Experiment with it. He’ll love it. Guaranteed.
Spicy Way #7: Start Foreplay Early. Very Early.
A little tease early in the morning can go a long way. So, say something to him before he’s off to work about what you are going to do to him that night.
Make it general, and keep him in suspense, wondering what’s going to happen. If you know what he really likes, then do that. Always try to add to it and not take away.
Then, in the middle of the day, if you can, send him a naughty pic of you to his cell phone. Embrace your erotic self, and send him sexy text messages that keep him excited to see you when he gets home.
Get ready for when he does come home, because you’re going to have one very horny husband on your hands.
~
So there you have it. 7 ways to spice up your boring marriage. I hope you find something useful and helpful.