I am not a psychologist, but I do know a thing or two about relationships from experience.
The first thing you need to think about is this – is the marriage worth saving? Of course, if he’s abusing you or your kids if you have them, you should seriously consider getting out. But if not, then keep on reading.
If you do have kids, I would always encourage anyone to do your best to save your marriage if you think it is salvageable. But if you don’t have kids and your marriage is on the brink, ask yourself is it worth it. If he is verbally abusive, get out. If he makes you feel worthless and dis-respects you, you should seriously consider getting out. What’s the point in staying in a sucky relationship?
But if you messed up and you want to save your marriage, then I’ve got 5 tips for you that may fit what is going on in your relationship. Some of them may not apply to you specifically because I don’t know you.
Here are my suggestions:
#1: Stop Nagging
Stop nagging if you do nag. There is nothing quite worse for a married guy than to have a nagging wife. It is probably the most irritating thing that a woman can do to a guy.
What is nagging? Nagging is constantly reminding a guy of what he should be doing, or needs to do. Usually, your husband isn’t going to forget to take out the trash or do whatever – it’s just that he wants to do it when he is ready.
Do you know why chefs have a round spinning wheel with customer orders on them? It’s because the chef doesn’t want to be told exactly which order to make next – he wants to do what he thinks is best to do next based upon what he already has cooking. The cook wants the control because the cook knows what’s cooking.
Procrastination is actually usually a good thing than a bad one. Let your husband do what he wants when he feels like it and you’ll have a much happier husband.
#2: Show Unconditional Love
I know this sounds strange coming from me, but when you unconditionally love your husband, he’s much more likely to stay. What is unconditional love? It’s loving him regardless of conditions – of what he has done, or what he’s going to do.
There is nothing quite worse than when a wife reminds a husband of some transgression from a long time ago that she was supposed to already have gotten over. If you forgave him for something in the past, don’t hold on to that grudge – let it go and never bring it up.
Unconditional love is allowing him to be who he really is and loving him anyway. But here’s the thing – that doesn’t mean that you have to stay in the relationship. In other words, you always have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. Don’t fall into the trap of giving too much of yourself and letting him walk all over you – I’m not saying to do that either. There is a nice balance between all of it. Follow your heart on this, but make sure that you fully love yourself first.
#3: Rekindle the Flame
Remember what it was like when you first met your hubby? What happened? What got his attention? What did you do to get him then? Can you do it again? Can you rekindle that flame?
Perhaps you could go to the same place where you first met and have a good talk. Maybe you could remind him about how you first met, and what it was like. Try to get him back into the memory of what it was like for him too. If you can get him to talk about it, chances are he’s going to smile and get back to that feeling too.
The point is to do something to trigger the original feelings that got you together in the first place.
#4: Take Care of This One Thing
What is this one thing? Yourself.
So many women, after they get married, totally let themselves go. They think that because they got married, that what they look like doesn’t matter anymore. They think, “I got him now. I’ve go the diamond ring on my finger. I’ve got the marriage license to prove we’re married. Now, I can relax, eat whatever I want, and let myself go!” It might be a subconscious thought, but it’s there.
That’s just selfish thinking. I can’t tell you how many times that this happened to me. It even happened with girlfriends – with one of them, once our relationship was established, she started putting on more and more weight, to the point where she looked like she was 40 pounds heavier within a year.
Don’t do that. Get back into shape . Take care of yourself. Get your hair done. Do what you’ve got to do. Dress like you’re single again and don’t let yourself go like so many women do.
#5: The MOST Important Thing to Do
Okay, now we’ve gotten to THE most important thing to do in order to save your marriage from the brink of disaster. What is it?
A blowjob, of course. Did you expect anything less from me?
We love blowjobs. They are like the mother of all loads (pun intended) way to save a marriage. It’s like the crème de le crème (pun definitely intended) of all things to do. They are the saving grace, the ace in the pocket, the main enchilada, the healer of all healers.
When was the last time that you gave him a really good blow job? A while? Well, how about surprising him with a blowjob that he will never forget?
And maybe you need to sharpen your sucking skills. Read one of my books if that’s the case.
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I hope you enjoyed my 5 unique tips to save your marriage.
Good luck.
To saving your marriage,
Jack